i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
