Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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