suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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