what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
