This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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