there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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