she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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