Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
