dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
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i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
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That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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