What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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