his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize