Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
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