Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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