I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize