oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
