i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
