YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
