Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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