He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize