Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
