tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize