I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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