I bet he comes in French.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize