Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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