we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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