i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
