i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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