in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
