Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
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He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
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This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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