toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize