I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
