you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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