Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
