I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
