I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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