Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
