Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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