You can't special order awesome
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
