I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
