Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
