dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
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I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
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The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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