she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
