i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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