I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize