So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
