i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize