im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize