My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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