You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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