Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
