I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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