Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
