margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
