i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize