Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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