There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
