Well apparently he's into motor boating.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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