Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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